“Don’t be afraid, you who are highly esteemed by God.” This verse reads a bit differently, depending on the translation. Some say “greatly respected” or “greatly desired.” Two of my favorites are from the New Living Translation, which reads, “‘Don’t be afraid,’ he said, ‘for you are very precious to God,’” and the English Standard Version, which says, “Oh man, greatly loved, fear not.” But my very favorite is from the Holman Christian Standard Bible. It reads, “Oh man, you who are treasured by God, peace to you. Be strong.” But no matter which translation of Daniel 10 you read, one statement remains distinctly consistent. Every translation says, “Don’t be afraid.”
For three weeks, Daniel had been mourning over Israel, eating really lousy food (no meat or wine), and neglecting to use lotions or oils on himself. So apparently, he experienced brutal gas and didn’t smell great either.
Then an angel appeared and touched Daniel. I’m assuming he touched Daniel on the back of his head since Daniel was lying prone on the ground at that point. Gabriel’s words of affirmation and his touch gave Daniel just enough strength to rise.
Even though he was still fearful and trembling, Daniel heard the words that we all long to hear: “You are loved. You are treasured. You are precious.” Daniel must have realized at that moment how important he was to God. Gabriel began the story by making Daniel feel worthy, and Daniel was able to hear the vision that was about to be poured out to him.
A while back, Becca was involved in an intense dialogue with someone involving a ministry she’d been working with for more than twenty years. Becca used material created by the program consistently, as national leaders of the ministry had perfected the resources from year to year. She used the national team’s material to write an orientation document outlining expectations for the group, the program, the participants, and the leaders.
After he opened the discussion with a prayer for unity and restoration, the first words out of the ministry leader’s mouth were “I have to apologize. You have been involved in this ministry so long I thought you knew what you were doing. It was wrong of me to assume that.”
Processing through the encounter, Becca recognized what a significant growth opportunity it would turn out to be for her. It wasn’t pleasant in the moment, not by the wildest stretch of her imagination. I’ve learned it doesn’t matter how much recovery and healing we have under our belts; it’s far too easy for one statement to propel us backward emotionally.
Becca has worked hard over the years to be a woman of integrity and worthy of earned respect, but she heard one false statement about herself, and she was immediately reduced to that unworthy, unlovable person with few, if any, redeeming qualities. She told me she became defensive, angry, and scared, a cornered rat.
It was not a pleasant exchange. After almost walking out of the conversation, she calmed down, and so did he. They finished the dialogue in a somewhat decent compromise.
But even after the dust settled and an agreeable compromise was reached, he bookended the conversation by saying the same thing: “Again, I’m sorry I assumed you knew what you were doing.”
Wisely, this time, Becca chose to keep silent and not react. But the fact remained that she felt shame and embarrassment. She felt all the work she had done for many years was worthless. However, instinctively, because of the intense work she’d done over the years, she knew there was no reason for her to feel those emotions. Becca knew she didn’t deserve to own them.
On the drive home from the meeting, Becca decided she needed to seek wise counsel. One of the strong points of her recovery has been deliberately positioning herself with wisdom from people she trusts. It’s the healthiest thing we can do. I know I seek wisdom from these people on everything now, almost down to which flavor of ice cream I should get. Or sprinkles. Should I get sprinkles?
She called three friends who are all well established in the same ministry. She asked them if she could send them the document and allow them to tell her if it contradicted in any way the standards set by the national program or if it provided, as she intended, guidelines and expectations founded in the resources and best practices of the national program.
One said there was nothing that went against the DNA of the program. One sent her a written response outlining the major points of Becca’s document and how it coincided with the national procedures and policies. The third rep wouldn’t even let her send it, stating, “You gave me that document several years ago. I still have it. I adapted it and have used it in my groups.”
That was all the ammo Becca thought she needed.
But suddenly, that somehow didn’t feel right. It didn’t feel healthy. Becca called her sponsor, and her sponsor said, “What’s your goal here? What’s your endgame? To prove the guy wrong? To make him feel as worthless as he made you feel? To feel better than him? To show him that you do know what you’re doing?”
None of those sounded healthy or ultimately fulfilling. The crux of the issue wasn’t really even about the other person. While recounting the experience, Becca repeatedly affirmed the leader isn’t a bad guy. He’s actually a really great guy. The problem was that Becca had let her guard down. It was her, not him. Yes, what he said and did wasn’t healthy, but the truth of the matter is that what someone uses in an attempt to gaslight us can’t fly across the table and into us unless we let it. She forgot one of the basic tenets of Celebrate Recovery for those of us who have been at it for a while. She’d read this verse during every step-study she’d ever done: “Don’t be so naive and self-confident. You’re not exempt. You could fall flat on your face as easily as anyone else. Forget about self-confidence; it’s useless. Cultivate God-confidence” (1 Corinthians 10:12 MSG).
Becca realized her endgame needed to be stronger and lead toward the eternal. She remembered Micah 6:8 (NIV): “He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”
She needed to use the moment to figure out how to walk with God more wholly and surely. She realized she now possessed the truth she needed. Becca did, in fact, know what she was doing. If she felt the need to prove that, then she was working out of a place of pride and a need for approval. She knew where her support ultimately came from.
She sought wise counsel and got it. That was all she needed. She decided to keep leading the program the way she’d always led. She knows it’s right.
Keep your eyes open, hold tight to your convictions, give it all you’ve got, be resolute, and love without stopping.
—1 Corinthians 16:13 MSG
I’ve learned that if bookends are essential in a conversation, I want them to leave the ones who receive my words feeling and believing they are valid and loved. They should feel highly esteemed and precious. I want them to know they matter; they are significant; and, most importantly, the star-breathing Creator of the universe treasures them.
Daniel was able to stand before the angel, even when he was horrified, trembling, and feeling unworthy. When Gabriel bookended the beginning of his time with Daniel by saying, “Don’t be afraid, you are treasured by God,” and ending that time by saying the same thing, “Don’t be afraid, you are treasured by God,” he was making sure Daniel understood that he was worthy and ready to receive the prophecy of what was going to unfold in the future.
A bookend in writing sets up a scene so it can be satisfactorily repeated at the end of a larger scene. In life, it shows the character of the person who places the bookends in their respective positions. The narrative of any discussion should always lead to an eternal conclusion. Either we leave someone closer to God, or we don’t.
Our bookends matter a great deal. Daniel stood after hearing, “Hey, you’re important, and God is crazy in love with you.” Gabriel’s similar phrases at the beginning and the end of his time with Daniel gave the man the courage to hear what Gabriel was about to lay on him.
Here’s the kicker for me. How treasured was Daniel? How precious, loved, worthy, esteemed, and desired? Gabriel was saying, “Daniel, don’t be afraid. Let me affirm to you how important you are. From the moment you set your heart to gain understanding and to know your God, your words were heard. And I have come in response to them.”
Gabriel was saying, “Hey, God knew about you before he spun the world into orbit. He knew you would be mourning and would be grieving for Israel. From the very beginning, he knew your heart would be turned toward him and this moment would come. Guess what? He heard you. And here I am.”
Today you and I can know this. I’m here to tell you. God treasures you. He adores you. You are precious to him. You have worth, and he has a plan for you. From the moment you set your heart to gain understanding and to know your God, your words were heard. Before the world was established, he heard you.
Angels are on their way.
